29 July 2010, 1:25 am
I have a 7 year old nephew. I also have a child of my own. I used to adore my nephew when he was a baby, but as he's gotten older he annoys me now. I feel guilty to admit that but it's the truth, because he's just a child and I realize that this is not his fault. Part of this stems from the fact that his mother (my sister) constantly pacifies his bad behavior and reinforces it. He would throw fits at my daughter's birthdays because he wanted it to be HIS birthday, he wanted to blow out the candles, he would always try to open her gifts, etc. Instead of calmly telling him that it wasn't his birthday, or that those were not his gifts, my sister would laugh it off as to not upset him further. This has pretty much been the jist of his whole life -- she will do whatever it takes to NOT upset him, even if it means that it affects other people. To give you a further example, she showed up late to my wedding ceremony, and only stayed about 10 minutes into the reception because my nephew started acting up. Again, instead of dealing with the tantrum in some form or fashion, she just bolted. For years she never even went out with him because of his tantrums. I'm tired of constantly hearing excuses for his behavior. I know it's none of my business because he's not my child, but I admit that his bratty behavior makes me feel distant from him and I don't like to hang around him. My daughter on the other hand loves to be with him. She's 3 years younger and she follows him around and wants to play with him. Many times he'll blow her off, or tells his mom he's bored and wants to leave (after we just got there), or again just acts bratty towards my daughter. My sister just down plays it and says "oh he's in a bad mood." Well he's been in a "bad mood" since birth according to her.....literally, she says that ALL the time. So how do I handle my own personal feelings about this? I know I'm the adult and I know better. And I do understand that he's the child, and it's not his fault that his mother can't set limits or teach him manners. I don't expect a child to act perfect 100% of the time, but if that were my daughter, I would (and do) teach her how to behave in public, or around other kids, or around family etc. She's younger than he is, yet can handle her emotions better because of it. What do I do about my feelings?... Read More »
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